Excerpt:
I lay back and tried not to over think things to calm the
storm in my head, but a knock on my door moments later interrupted it.
"Come in!" I called out, sitting up to retrieve my
book.
Syd entered, carrying in what looked like a sandwich and a
glass of her homemade lemonade.
I could have done with a hot soup.
But I blew a sigh of relief it wasn't one of the Lockes.
"Isobel said to make sure you had some lunch by now,"
she said, placing the tray on my bedside cabinet.
"Thanks, Syd."
"Any reason why you're hiding in here?" she asked
as she sat on my bed.
I tensed. Being told I was hiding annoyed me, but I wasn't
annoyed at Syd, just at myself. I had come too far in life to start acting like
a coward, especially over something clearly in my head.
I fingered the dog-eared cover of my book.
"I think I just need a quiet day to myself. It could be
some type of…delayed jet lag." It could be partly true, I thought. It had
taken two flights to get from Salt Lake City to Blacksville; six hours in
total. I smiled, pleased with the conclusion. Exhaustion could have been why I
had such a freakish dream.
"I see," Syd said, seeming unconvinced. "Well,
do you think you'll be joining the Lockes for dinner?"
"Do I have to?" No matter how much I was becoming
fond of Syd, she worked for the Lockes. They could try and make her tell me
what do.
"No." She chuckled. "But I think you should
try to interact. Cray's alright, by the way. A little scratch like that won't do
a boy like him any harm."
Boy like him?
So, I had hurt him. My chest tightened.
"Oh, don't look so beat up about it, honey. The boy is
as tough as old boots." She chuckled again. "And luckily for you, he's
not as vain about his looks as you would think. He won't hold what happened
against you." She patted my hand.
I gulped. "Has he…said something?"
"No. He left early this morning. He didn't say where he
was going, and Isobel never dares ask these days. He's a very private person,
as you've probably noticed. She respects that. We all do." She looked lost
in thought for a moment, then smiled in her sad little way, and asked, "So,
are you ready to talk about what happened last night?"
My mouth felt too clamped to begin
"I have to say, not many girls would have left home to
meet so many strangers. I admire your courage."
Her comment only made me sound irresponsible. I gritted my
teeth.
"I don't feel very courageous," I admitted.
"I feel pretty stupid right now."
Thanks for the added
comment to make me feel even more naive, I wanted to add.
"I don't think five months was long enough to think
this through," I said.
She nodded. "Maybe. But everything happens for a
reason. You followed your heart. It's all you can do in life. It's your only
real compass."
I wanted us to keep talking. When Syd wasn't nicely pointing
out my flaws, she had a way of calming me until I felt optimistic about my trip
again. But she had dinner to prepare, so she reluctantly left me after
insisting I get ready to face my evening with the Lockes.
Something about her was becoming familiar. It could have
been the warmth in her eyes and how they reminded me of Selma. She had always
been as hospitable and over helpful.
I still missed her. Talking to Syd was like getting back
something that had been cruelly taken away, too. It wasn't just my parents I'd
lost, but my pride, self-worth, my best friend, at times my composure. It had
been an uphill struggle this past year or so. But I was finally feeling on top
of things…I think.
I sure wasn't going to let it keep me down.
Coming to Blacksville was my new
start as the new and improved me. I really had to keep believing that.