Saturday, July 24, 2010

Outside the Line of My Comfort Zone

Ok, so my previous post was about the reset button, about starting over fresh every day. In that post I talked a little bit about the universe or God giving us hints. Well sometimes those hints get so loud it feels like the universe is screaming at us, giving us direction since we are failing to “get it” on our own.

For me the last week or so has been that way. It might just be my subconscious going into overdrive lately because as with most people, I’m afraid of dying, but not for the obvious reasons. I am afraid because though I have been alive for a while, I haven’t fully lived. There is SO much I want to do and I’m wasting this time I was given not doing it.

Yes sitting behind a cubicle helping people with their insurance, and helping my co-workers so they can also actually help people too is important but in the end not to me and my growth. I’ve come as far as I can in this endeavor, learned as much as I can, gained as much from the experience as there is for me. Now I’m on the hamster wheel, just doing the rounds.

So, instead of being upset with the company that bought us out and then in turn is making it nearly impossible for me to do my job the right way. I am going to say thank you for the big nudge that I needed to see that it IS actually time to move on. Get off the merry-go-round and find something new to feed my intellect, tickle my imagination, and nourish my soul. Or at the very least give me some NEW experiences.

When the universe is shouting at you, you really should listen. And when it’s saying, “Live! Don’t keep letting the opportunities pass you by.” You have to really take stock of yourself and realize comfortable isn’t always good.

My goal is to live life just outside the line of my comfort zone!

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Restless

I need change often or I get restless. Here is the result of today's restlessness.

The new do.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Reset Button

Yesterday I was thinking about my life and how things haven’t quite gone the way I planned. A single line of lyrics came to mind. “I’m forgiving what I’ve done.” Pretty powerful line. How many of us can say that? We might ask forgiveness from those we’ve wronged, from the universe and from God but how often do we forgive ourselves?

Today while I was getting ready, the song the Lyric belongs to came on and it struck me. I believe sometimes the universe, or in my case since I believe in God, God gives you little hints to show you what you need. Often times we don’t even realize what the problem is and that is where these little hints come in so handy.

I didn’t realize the problem was me. I feel guilty for all the things that I feel like I can’t control so I either do nothing or I continue to do the things that are making me feel bad. But today armed with the little epiphany I received I’ve realized I need to forgive what I have done, then I can move on.

During this moment of clarity I also realized, every day is like a fresh, clean start. A reset button, if you will. Each day I can let go of my fears that I’ll never write another book as good as the one I recently finished. It wasn’t a fluke, I worked hard and though each new one will be different, if I work just as hard they will be amazing. And if not I get to try again with the next.

Also, I can keep my house clean, write, commute and work a full time job and find time for a life. I just need to accept that I can’t do it all every day but in bits and pieces. It’s far less overwhelming that way. And most importantly, if I make a mistake I just need to dust myself off and remember that somewhere in the night someone hits the reset button and tomorrow is a new chance to do it better.

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Favorite quote: Eew a box!
email: analaskangirl@gmail.com

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Monica Millard's books on Goodreads
Children of the Gods Children of the Gods (Chosen, #1)
reviews: 34
ratings: 44 (avg rating 3.91)

Chosen - A Children of the Gods Short Story Chosen - A Children of the Gods Short Story
reviews: 4
ratings: 17 (avg rating 3.47)

The Fall The Fall
reviews: 7
ratings: 6 (avg rating 4.83)

Monica's bookshelf: read

Darkhouse
The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms
Rebellion
Blood and Feathers
The Rithmatist
Forbidden Blood
Last Blood
Out for Blood
Bad Blood
Flesh and Blood
Blood Rights
Girl Parts


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