You Try Until You Can’t

The title is from a song that is one of this week’s favorites. It is by Regina Spektor called On The Radio. In it she says: This is how it works. You’re young until you’re not. You love until you don’t. You try until you can’t. You laugh until you cry. You cry until you laugh. And everyone must breathe until their dying breath.

These words ring extra true for me this week. Many of you know I live 55 miles from where I work. I used to take the bus to work every day which entailed waking every morning at 4:30am to catch my bus and not getting back home again till 7:30 or 8:00pm. All of this effort for an 8 hour work day. When my boss announced we were going to be having an early shift 6-2:30pm, I threw in my hat immediately.

With this new schedule I can’t ride the bus any longer. I drive an 11 mpg 94 F-150 with a V-8. So to curb the costs of gas and wear on tear on my older baby, I commute in on Monday’s and stay in Anchorage with my little brother’s on their couch several days of the week.

This week has been a trying one at work, and I have already been asking myself is it really worth it. The answer this week was beginning to feel like, “No, no it’s not worth it.” That is until Friday when one of the girls I helped train, brought me the Koala pictured below.

It isn’t that I’m a present whore, who’s easily won over by expressions of kindness that are tangible. It was the fact that she thought of me when she won it. She thought it would go perfectly with all my other animal’s that line my monitor stand.

You go through life trying to be who you are and do what you can. You hope you leave a mark, changing each place and person just a little, hopefully for the better, or at least not leaving them worse off for you having been there.

You don’t usually get to see the effects you have. Occasionally, though like in this case. You get to see that you have enough effect on someone that when they win a Koala in one of those machines, they think enough of you that they are reminded that you like cute little animals and bring it to you, making your entire week.

Before she gave me that little Koala I was at the point where I tried until I was the at the can’t part of that lyric. Her little gift gave me the juice to feel that I totally could keep trying.

So my plan this coming week is to be the person who helps someone else have the juice to keep trying. And I challenge all of you to look for a person who looks like they could use a little extra juice and do something unexpected and kind for them. It can be as simple as a smile as long as it brightens their day.

(I don’t expect anyone to report back. That kind of thing can be very personal but if you do feel like sharing your moment of sunshine, I’d love to hear about it.)