My immediate reaction was, there’s no way. This trek is along a highway that I’ve not only had occasion to find myself in close, personal contact with a moose at high speeds, but have also done a couple of unplanned and very frightening 360 degree revolutions at high speed. To say that my thoughts on making this drive once a week again fills me with apprehension is a bit of an understatement.
I could just skip it and visit other words for Sacrament meeting. But I have an important calling in my ward. I lucky enough to be entrusted to spend two hours playing with the littlest of our members so that their parents’ can be edified or fulfill their own important callings. I love those precious little hearts that are given into mine and the others who share the calling with’s care.
I knew it was something I had really think about and pray for understanding on. Though I didn’t. I avoided praying about it, because I knew I might not like the answer, and honestly I wasn’t ready to not be upset about it.
I told my friend who used to share the ward with me, but has been moved to another ward. She was a little sad at not being able to share the new chapel and journey. I definitely didn’t want to hear that. Or anything else she might say in favor of it. I could feel myself shutting out her points, with the thought that she’s just a better person than me and I’m not at that place yet. And I was okay with that. But she is a special person and she chipped through my ice a little, though she didn’t change my feelings.
One of the reasons we were given is that while we may be growing, there were two places that could receive the money for a new chapel. Alaska or Africa…. We have this very rural chapel that is under used.
So, cue my humbling moment while laying face down waiting for the chiropractor to come make me not feel like an eighty year old woman. On a quiet radio close to me an old Christmas song that I love began to play. It was a song from when I was a teen by Bandaid, Do They Know It’s Christmas Time.
I listened to it and was thinking about the conditions for some of the people in Africa. I was wondering about my accountability because we know that people starving there or the extreme violence waged against some and we sit in comfortable homes in our mostly safe country and do very little. And then I realized how selfish I was being about my forty-five minute to hour drive each way in a nice, warm vehicle to go to a church that has made such a difference in my life, a church that gives me hope when I feel like there is none.
How can I begrudge having to suffer a little inconvenience to give some people in Africa the chance to have those same things that I am so lucky to gain from having my church? I can’t. Well I suppose I can, but I don’t.
It’s funny how being humbled can make you feel really good.